Distant Memories
by Shadow Dancer666
Summary: Cloud was an angry and hopless case. always causing trouble in SOLDIER, what kind of trouble will he get into? Cloudx? you'll have to read to see for yourself! i rated it M just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Distant Memories

I was feeling sick. The troops had been traveling since five in the morning, but now we finally parked the dreadful army jeeps for the night. I think it was eleven at night. Having motion sickness was hell, especially when as a Shinra trooper I had to be traveling a lot. Normally a trooper wouldn't have to travel so much, but I was a trooper in a prestigious squadron. I was under the command of the General.

"Hey kid! Hurry and move that equipment!"

I glared at him but bit my tongue. I only kept form back talking because I was afraid if I opened my mouth I would puke. I sighed inwardly. I wasn't here because I was a good soldier. I was here because no other general could control me. I was always angry and always in trouble. But instead of kicking me out of the army, they sent me to work under the General. Whether the General was supposed to influence me in a good way or break me, I didn't know. So far we haven't even talked. But the General's right-hand man talked to me. I really liked him. Zack was becoming my first friend.

"Kid!" screeched on of the officers, "move your ass, and put the tent up!"

I growled. For now all I've done is help set up the tents and move equipment. I was sick and quickly losing patience.

"Move, move!"

This guy really annoyed me. He was snobby and bossy, and I was in charge of putting up his tent and keeping it clean. He would purposely make a huge mess for me to clean up.

"Strife! Do you want me to tell the General that you're slacking off! You know what he does to slackers."

He smirked smuggly, like I was supposed to be scared. (I actually didn't know what the General did to slackers.)

"Go ahead, scum, at least I'll have a moment of rest from hearing your pointless babbling."

This made him mad.

"Punk!"

Then he punched me in the stomach causing me to lose my breath, but he didn't stop there. He kept hitting me. He knew I was no match for him.

"Commander Evan!"

It was a deep yet calm voice. Zack.

"General Sephiroth has called a meeting. Let's go."

"Of course."

Evan kicked me one more time for good measure and then walked off with Zack. I couldn't help but smile. That bastard was going to pay. Slowly an evil plan formed and I quickly executed it. Then I sat back at a safe distance to watch.

I was eager for the commander to go to his tent. Soon enough he did come and he looked like he was in a good mood. Perfect. I could see in my mind's eye everything that was going to happen.

He would walk in and then he would smell the faint scent of has leaking from his personal, portable stove, but it is too late; he will trip on the badly placed rug and when he falls he will knock over the loaded gun which will go off. The spark will ignite the air and . . . BOOM!

I smiled at the tent engulfed in flames. He won't be bothering me for a while. I knew people would find out that I did it, but I didn't care. I was contnent to hear the commander screaming. Some of the other troopers were trying to put out the fire. I yawned and decided to go to the mess tent.

Next thing I knew, I was shoved out of the way by the General and I saw him jump into the flaming tent. N a fraction of a second, the General was outside the flames holding a severly burned Evan. The medical team quickly took commander Evan and the General lazily flicked his wrist at the tent; that instant, the tent was covered in a thin sheet of ice and the fire was gone. As he began walking back to his tent, the General glanced at me. Those pale green eyes made me feel as if a bucket of gold water was thrown in my face. He was intimidating. The glance lasted a second, but I could still feel it ever after dinner. Maybe I had gotten myself in way over my head.

**Hello, this is chapter one of a complete story i have; please review and tell me how i did. and just so you know, this is my first fanfic, ever! so please help me out by giving me a review! Thank you! later chapters may be a while since my computer's keyboard quit working. sorry!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Distant Memories**

**Chapter 2  
**

After dinner, I was trying to get comfortable for sleep in my too small tent hen my mouth was covered. I jumped up from surprise, but I knew that hand.

"Cloud," began Zack seriously, "why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

I didn't even try to act innocent. Zack sighed.

"You've been doing so much better lately. I know he beat you up, but I was going to take care of it. You know that."

I felt a little guilty; I knew that Zack was watching out for me. I just lost my temper. Zack smiled faintly.

"Well anyway, you're in trouble. The General wants you in his tent, so be quick, ok!" I told him not to be too harsh on you."

Zack winked at me and pushed me out of the tent regardless of the fact that I was only dressed in my boxers.

"Take care," he whispered before zipping up my tent to ensure that I went to the General. I began to wonder what kind of trouble I was in. As I walked to the General's tent, I began to get a little worried. How much trouble would I really be in?

It was a cold night, but I liked the feel of the soft dirt under my feet, so the walk to the General's tent wasn't so bad. But as I was walking past the equipment tent, I felt a firm arm cover my mouth and pull me inside. I was pulled up against a firm body and I felt another hand slip down into my boxers to grope me. A husky voice whispered, "You didn't report for duty this week, Strife."

"Oh shit!" I thought.

An electric lamp turned on dimly and I could see about a dozen other soldiers. They were mostly troopers.

"Can you tell me why you would neglect your duties?"

He lowered his hand from my mouth and started to rub my chest. My heart was pounding; I knew I had to get away.

"I-I need to report t to the General! Let me go!"

The men just laughed.

"Listen carefully," he whispered into my ear, "we'll let you off the today, but we've got two weeks left of this mission. Miss one more day, and we'll make sure that your body will never be recovered."

Then I was roughly shoved out of the tent. I landed face first and heard them laughing. I knew that those guys were serious, but I could help longing for revenge. One of these days commander Felix and his squadron were going to pay. One of these days. I could've told Zack about these guys, but that would be wimpy of me. I would deal with them myself.

A few minutes later I made it to the General's tent. It began drizzling and I couldn't decide if I should knock on the tent flap, announce my presence, or just wait. Just before I knocked on the flap, it opened up and the General stood there glaring down at me. To say he was intimidating would be an understatement. It felt like those pale green eyes saw right though me, down into my soul.

"You're late," he growled.

I was officially petrified.

"Y-yes sir!"

His pale eyebrow rose up.

"Uh, I mean, sorry sir!"

"Come inside. Now."

"Sir!"

I charged in as fast as I could and ended up running into the General's immovable arm. This resulted in me falling on my ass in the idle of his tent. My face was burning with shame. What else could go wrong? The General closed the flap and walked over to me. He grabbed my shoulders and effortlessly hauled me to my feet. He began scrutinizing me closely and his sender fingers lightly brushed my bruised ribs and other injuries from commander Evan. The sensation of his fingers on my skin awakened a part of my conscious that I always tried to suppress. Now that the General was squatting to get a better look at my ribs I couldn't tear my eyes away from his muscular and well-formed chest. I gulped as I realized that I wasn't looking at his chest anymore, I was looking further down. . .

"Oh crap!" I thought.

I could feel myself getting an erection. I couldn't help it! He was turning me on! To my humiliation, the General noticed.

"Strife."

""Yes sir?" I mumbled miserably.

"Calm yourself. And get that down."

"Yes sir."

I was pissed. It wasn't my fault! I just. . .

My mind was flooded with memories both old and new.

_ My mouth tasted bad; it was because of a dozen guys shoving their tongues into my bleeding mouth. The bruises on my body kept getting larger because so many large hands sought pleasure. That is how I lost my virginity._

_I was being held by two troopers and they didn't mind slipping their fingers into my shirt. I was letting lose every curse word I had ever known, but that didn't stop them. Or commander Felix. He was enjoying taking my pants _way _too much. _

"_Since you've got a nice body and you're here only temporarily, you're going to be out cheap little fuck doll, ok? Not that you have a choice."_

_One of the troopers shoved his dirty fingers into my mouth and toyed with my tongue._

"_And if you tell anyone," commander Felix continued, "you can be sure that there'll be an accident and you and your little friend will be burning in hell together!"_

_And then . . . _

I was abruptly brought back to reality by a harsh shake.

"Strife!" the General called.

""Ugh, Sir?"

My cheeks were wet with tears I couldn't remember shedding, and my body was trembling. My breaths came in short gasps and I couldn't control my erection. The General stared hard at me for a moment before he pushed me onto a hard chair. Then he covered me with a blanket. He was being gentle which was something I couldn't believe

"Strife! I'll deal with you tomorrow. Get some rest for now."

Suddenly I felt VERY tired.

"Yes sir," I mumbled. Then everything went dark.

**Yay! i finished Chapter 2! i haven't received any reviews yet, so please review and tell me how i'm doing. thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I sincerely apologize to the people out there who took the time to read my other chapters. Life has been a bitch** **lately, but i managed to finish typing this chapter and am almost done with the next and final chapter of this fic. The worst part is that I have the entire story written out, but it's on paper. Once again, I'm very sorry for the hold up. Please review and let me know what I can do to improve. Thank you.**

I woke up and felt my stomach do a flip. I was lying down in the back of one of the army jeeps and my head was resting on my uniform. The rest of my body was covered by the General's blanket. I looked up groggily and saw Zack smiling at me. The General sat next to him and two other commanders were catching some sleep. I envied them; just being awake made me sick. The General continued to stare out the small window as I slowly put my uniform on.

"Good morning sunshine!" Zack said. "How are you feeling?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but that was a big mistake. I ran across the floor and ended up kneeling on the General's lap as I puked my guts out of the small window next to him. I began to wonder how many times I would humiliate myself in front on the General before I would be put out of my misery (either by the General himself, or one of his faithful groupies).

As I was trying to catch my breath I heard Zack hysterically laughing. I turned and glared at him; I couldn't believe he was laughing at my affliction! His face was pink as he tried to breathe and laugh at the same time, and he was lying on his back clutching his sides with both hands. He almost looked like a little kid.

Strangely, it was kind of attractive.

The vomit began to rise in my throat again, but before I stuck my head out the window again, the General firmly shoved me off of his lap. At the same time the jeep came to a halt. Zack grabbed my arm and dragged me outside where I finished throwing up. My head was still spinning but I turned angrily on Zack (he was still laughing).

"Why the hell are you laughing at me? This is not fucking funny!"

He stopped laughing, but a big smile was on his lips.

"Don't take everything so personal! Here's some water. Rinse up and I'll explain."

After I rinsed up and cooled off Zack began whispering.

"I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at Sephiroth."

"The General?!" I whispered back in surprise.

"Yeah, you see Cloud, you have a nice ass for a guy. Don't worry, I'm not into guys, but anyway, when you jumped on Sephiroth's lap, he got a clear view of your pretty little ass and that caught him off guard. To anyone but me, his face was expressionless, but I noticed that he almost gawked."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing! The General gawked at my ass! Zack continued whispering while we walked back to the jeep.

"I don't think you need to worry though, 'cause Sephiroth isn't sexually needy. In all the years I've known him, Sephiroth has _never_ gone on the days off to a whore house, male or female. He uses his days off to sleep or practice at the grounds."

"Are you quite through?"

Zack and I both flinched. The General was standing beside our jeep staring at us with a cold glare.

"Hurry up! We need to catch up to the others."

My stomach lurched at the thought of going even faster.

"Oh c'mon Sephiroth," Zack whined, "lighten up! We'll catch up to them soon enough; besides I was just telling Cloud what I was laughing at."

The General's glare got even icier.

"Don't be embarrassed," Zack said smiling.

In a fraction of a second the General had his exquisite Masamune pressed against Zack's throat.

"That is quite enough, Zack."

Zack just kept smiling. He even began to chuckle. I was in awe; how could Zack stay composed with Masamune up against his throat! I would have been begging for my lefe.

"Well, Sephiroth, let's get going."

Zack pushed Masamune back with his index finger and hopped into the jeep. I went to quietly follow Zack, but the General grabbed my arm; it felt like a statue grabbed my arm.

"Strife. If you can do the electric chair until we reach our next stop, I won't punish you for your murder attempt."

"Are you crazy!" I blurted. "Our next stop isn't until 10 this evening! Not even you could do that!"

"It's either that or court martial and prison."

I didn't really have a choice; I didn't want to go to prison.

"Whatever."

The General's hand whipped up and grabbed my chin forcing me to look into his cold merciless eyes. They were so green.

"It's 'yes, sir' Strife," he whispered dangerously.

"Yes sir," I whispered faintly.

When we got into the jeep I got into the electric chair position. To my surprise, the General did the same, but his arms were crossed over his formidable chest instead of keeping them out for balance.

By the time we reached our stop I had fallen over 3,478 times while the General never faltered. Even when we hit bumps in the road! Slight changes in position was all it took to stay balanced. Zack wasn't much of a help though. He had a grand time making it hard for me to stay in position. He would poke me, blow in my ears, make me laugh, and numerous other things to make me fall. All in all, the day was hell. Before anyone started to set up camp, the General called everyone to a quick meeting.

"Listen up! Zack made a request to me and I would like to oblige."

Even Zack looked confused.

"Tonight Zack will set up every single tent and the troopers will put up the equipment. That's all, dismissed."

Everyone burst out laughing and Zack smiled and bowed graciously.

"Oh, yes," said the General turning on his heel. "All commanders meet at my tent in ten minutes. And Strife, come here."

My blood ran cold as I walked towards the General. The gentle breeze played through his shimmering hair. His hair seemed to reflect the moonlight and his green eyes glowed not only wit Mako, but with a fiery and commanding soul. No general was ever, or would ever be as great as he was now.

"Sir!"

"In three hours I want you to come to my tent. Since we will enter into battle soon, I need to discuss your impulsive attitude. I will ot let my men die because you are a foolish little boy."

That last statement hurt my pride, but he had a point. As he turned to leave, I grabbed his arm.

"Wait! Are you still gonna court martial me?"

He turned and stared at me for a minute.

"No. But the next time you do such a thing I will turn you in myself. And don't ever say there is something I can't do."

With that he turned and walked briskly away. Zack had already set up several tents and was happily putting up another one. Did anything get that guy in a bad mood?

"Hey, Cloud, are ya gonna wait to eat dinner with me?"

"Nah. I got to meet the General in three hours so I'll eat and then take a nap."

"All right! Hope the General doesn't barbeque you! Enjoy your rest, love!"

I blushed at that.

"Good night to you and don't work too hard."

I ate a quick dinner then went to my tent. Zack had already put it up for me. I smiled. Zack was something else. The pillow had never felt so good before and my aching legs felt dead. I settled down and closed my eyes for sleep.

A knife was roughly shoved against my throat. My eyes shot open and I saw Kevin. He was one of Felix's men. One of the worst.

"Good evenin', doll," he whispered. "We thought that we made it real clear what would happen if you didn't come to us. I guess you thought we was kiddin'."

He pulled me to my feet and when I opened my mouth to screamfor help, he shoved his pistol into my mouth.

"One peep out of you and bye-bye."


	4. Chapter 4

**The final chapter! Finally! thank you to Seven Positions and xmutedx for their heart warming reviews, they were much appreciated. i hope you guys like the story!**

Kevin gagged and blind folded me. Then with his gun against my neck, he pushed me foreword. I regretted taking my boots off for sleep. I walked, tripped and stumbled for half an hour before he told me to stop. Through all my huffing and puffing, I heard a very distinct sound. My heart stopped and I choked up; I heard a shovel digging into dirt. Kevin pulled my blind fold off and I saw Felix and his men looking like ghosts in the moonlight. One of the men named Burt jumped out of a hole with a shovel in his hand. The hole was six by three. My body started to tremble violently and I realized that I was no longer gagged. I looked around the terrain and found it to be mildly desert. No settlement in sight.

"Well, Strife," laughed commander Felix, "how do you like your new home?"

"You gotta be fucking kidding me!" I screamed.

"You'll be here for a _very_ long time, so you'll learn to like it."

"Oh god, damn! Fuck!"

I tried to fight, but it wasn't working.

"You cowardly bastards! Let's fight one on one and see who wins then, huh! Get your damn hands off of me!"

By now I was hysterical. I knew I couldn't beat any of them one on one, but at least I'd be dead when they threw me into that hole. I was scared shitless. They had my hands and feet tied firmly and were carrying me to the grave.

"You know, Strife, all of this could have been avoided if you just listened to us." Commander Felix smiled and continued. "What can I say? You're a stubborn bastard."

"W-wait! C'mon, I was gonna go to you! Aargh!"

The troopers dumped me in the hole brutally and laughed. Burt picked up the shovel and shoveled a pile of dirt at my feet. And he didn't stop.

"Oh god, oh god! No fucking way! Felix! Get me outta here!"

I got a shovel full of dirt in my face, but I kept yelling.

"Please! I promise I'll always do what you say! I promise! Felix! Get me the hell out!"

I could only hear the laughing jerks. By now the dirt covered my entire body except my face. I couldn't move. Or breathe. I felt crushed.

"Oh god, god, god! Felix! Give me another chance! Please! You can fuck me all you want! I won't complain! Just please get me out!"

"All right, boys, I think he's had enough fun. Pull him up."

Kevin and another trooper pulled me up and untied my hands and feet. But I couldn't run. My nerves were completely shot. I just laid on the dirt shaking uncontrollably with tears streaming down my face; my arms and legs refused to support my body.

"That was your last warning, Strife."

I saw the perverted smile spread across his lips.

"It's time to take those clothes off!"

Like animals, the men were all over me. My clothes were easily removed and the men threw dice to see who got what. I couldn't have prayed for worse luck.

Round 1: Kevin got my mouth, Burt got my crotch, and Felix got my ass. The rest of the men awaited their turns by shouting taunts, ideas, and other crap at the men using me. Kevin shoved his nasty tongue in my mouth forcing me to bleed. Then he forced my face into his groin making me give him head. Meanwhile Burt was giving me head and Felix shoved his stinking cock into my ass.

"_If I wasn't such a cowered, I would've been in a better place by now. Hell."_

All I could do was think of what I would do to them when I got stronger.

Round 6: I was bleeding, exhausted, and I felt like crap. But I had to take the abuse; if I wanted to survive. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was praying that Zack would come and save me. But that was impossible, right?

"Felix, you scumbag!"

Wrong. Then another voice followed Zack's.

"This is inexcusable!"

My head shot up and I saw the figures of Zack and the General with the moon as a backdrop. Zack and the General looked really pissed.

"_Heh. I just realized. Zack is actually mad."_

"Oh! S-sirs!"

Felix quickly removed his penis from my mouth and put it back into his pants.

"We're just foolin' around with the boy, sir! Besides he's just a trooper, and a worthless one at that!"

Zack's eyes scanned the area while the General spoke.

"How long have you been at this?"

"Only half an hour, sir! He's a pansy as you can see, and we were just wrapping up since we didn't want to hurt him too badly."

"_Bullshit!" _I thought. My mouth was just too numb to speak. _"We've been at this for three fucking hours!"_

Zack scowled. When he spoke, his voice was the low growl of a predatory animal.

"Since you guys are _so_ nice, I guess you planned to bury him after you fucked him to death! Y'know, so his body ain't found."

"W-well that, um…"

"Enough."

One word from the General was all it took to make all the men shake like kindergarteners on their first day of school. The General raised Masamune in attack position. Everyone held their breath. That would be their last.

The General and Zack lunged towards Felix first. The General swiped three men in the neck and just as quickly, Zack kicked the men into the deep grave. In a deadly dance the two executed everyone. The moonlight shone on the blood covering Masamune giving it an eerie look. But no less eerie were the looks in the eyes of the executioners. Their Mako glowing eyes never showed mercy.

But something wasn't right. As the dance concluded with Sephiroth on one knee, his blade outstretched and Zack setting his foot down, a single drop of blood fell from Masamune's tip. Zack's hand snatched out and caught the blood in the air. It was then that I realized what was wrong. Even though every man had his throat slit, the only blood on the ground was my own. As the vomit spewed from my lips I realized why. The General and Zack were too fast.

By the time blood gushed from the wound, the body was already in he grave. Looking up, I saw the pile of bodies glistening with blood like an offering to the death god, Odin. A materia in Masamune's materia slots glowed and the ground shook as the bodies were swallowed by the Planet. Zack walked towards me and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Everything'll be all right. You're safe now."

He pulled me into a warm hug. All I could do was cry.

I felt a heavy leather jacket fall on my shoulders. I clutched to the jacket even though it was the General's. He swept me up in his arms and I rested my head against his chest. Even though his body was unusually firm, it comforted me. It seemed to be the only solid thing in my life, the only constant (besides Zack, of course).

The trip back to camp was much faster and went smoothly; we went straight to the General's tent as soon as we entered camp. I was bathed and given first aid by Zack while the General filed out a report saying that commander Felix and his men deserted.

"Zack, go get some rest. I'll watch over Strife."

Zack finished wrapping my ribs before he answered.

"I guess, Sephiroth. Listen, Cloud, just get some sleep an' everything will be all right. 'Kay?"

I pulled the towel around myself tighter.

"Sure. And thank you."

Zack smiled and patted down my crazy hair; then he walked out without making a sound. The General pulled out a small trundle bed from a corner and set it up with a pillow and two thin blankets.

"Strife, that bed is for you. Try to get some rest."

"Just call me Cloud, and thanks."

"Well, I understand how you're feeling now, so if you need something I'll be sleeping outsi-"

Before I realized what I was doing I grabbed the sleeve of his coat. I knew he could have dodged it, but he didn't. My tired eyes looked up at the General and I tried to see some kind of emotion, remorse for murdering Felix and his men, pity for me, something. But I couldn't see any.

"Why did you help me?" My voice was low and strained. "Why would you, a General, care what happens to an expendable trooper like me?"

"Like I said, I understand how you feel."

"Then you should know that I don't want to be left alone."

His icy green eyes softened up a bit and he let me pull him down to the floor next to me. I didn't want his strength to leave me. I knew that by tomorrow the memories of the rape would be pushed back into a corner of my mind, and I will once again be a pissy and rebellious teen who dreams of becoming a SOLDIER, but even so, just for tonight, I wanted to be able to sleep. Pulling the towel around myself tighter I rested my head on the General's chest; he opened his legs and wrapped his arms around my body. His touch sent a chill down my spine and got me excited.

"_Even though I just got raped, I can still get excited? I'm such a bitch."_

"Strife," the General whispered, "will you forgive me?"

"Just call me Cloud." I looked into those glimmering green eyes. "Forgive you for what?"

"This."

His thin cold lips pressed against my lips so gently that I scarcely felt it. My heart stopped I my chest and my breath caught in my throat. It was the most pleasant kiss I had ever received. The memory of Felix and his men completely disappeared; all I could think of was how much I wanted Sephiroth. The man who was holding me in his arms. My hands released the towel and stroked his silky hair. He pulled away slowly.

"Cloud?"

"Don't stop," I whispered.

This time, when our lips met, it wasn't a light brush; it was a real kiss. His cold lips soothed my swollen lips and his cold fingers worked down my bare back. All I could do was moan and beg for more.

When he entered into me all my pain and discomfort left, the only thing on my mind was him. His lips on the back of my neck. His hands on my hips. His cock in my ass. Only him. As I screamed from reaching climax, I heard thunder tear through the air.

"_A storm in the desert?"_

That thought lasted half a second before another wave of pleasure coursed through my body.

"_I will never leave Sephiroth. Make that I can't. I …"_

I shot up as my cell phone rang loudly. I snapped it open and answered.

"Hn."

"Hey Cloud, this is Tifa. Reeve called an emergency meeting. Meet us in the Shinra building in Edge. Take care."

"Sure."

When I hung up the phone I noticed that my face was wet. As I wiped the tears from my face I wondered why I had dreamed of a memory that I had intended to forget forever. Remembering those feelings was so painful. I clutched the phone to my chest and let the tears fall freely.

"I killed the only person I ever really loved," I whispered. "I KILLED THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON I EVER REALLY LOVED!"

But no one in the Midgar plains heard my heart wrenching cry.

THE END

**:3 i'm so happy to finish that i could do the...CHOCOBO DANCE! not really, but i am happy to have one story under my belt. currently i have two chapter for the sequel on paper and several stories typed out waiting to be downloaded. i'll try to type out the sequel as soon as possible for those who care to read more Cloud angst with a dash of Sephiroth's superiority complex, and of course the comic Zack. maybe he'll be more, hmmm...**

**Thank you for all who have read the story through! You guys rock!**


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